Not a very catchy title – I admit. For day 2 of the Blogging University Course, I had to write a list. Lists are fun and easy and I can think of so many to write. I enjoyed writing this one and will no doubt write many more in the future. To be honest, I wrote it before receiving the WordPress Instruction email, so I haven’t written any of the suggested lists – oops!
So here are the 25 things I said I would/wouldn’t do but then did the opposite:
1. I can’t wait to get out of this town with the small-minded people with eyes closed to the big exciting world out there!
a. I’m in the big city – yeah!
b. Wow so many people are closed minded and uppity.
a. I can’t wait to move back home after 10 years away.
b. I’m so happy to be back where I belong!
2. I’ll never prioritise boys over my friends. Friday is lassies night and that won’t change!
a. So friends, are you not going out on Friday? What do you mean you’re going out with your boyfriend? What about our pact? (as I think forlornly about all the guys I dumped on Fridays).
b. Sorry friends. I’m busy on Friday. Going out with my boyfriend. Bye!
3. I won’t ever have fair hair. I’m too dark skinned and would look ridiculous.
a. I now dye my hair dark ash blonde (still prefer it dark brown though).
4. I love winning the school races. I want to win every single year until I leave!
a. I can’t be arsed running. It’s too much effort.
5. I cannot run distances – no way.
a. I just ran 12 miles. I could do a half marathon!
b. Stops running (lethargy set in and lack of motivation ensued).
6. I will never forgive her for what she’s done. I won’t ever help her when she needs it.
a. Oh you need help. Can I do anything – anything at all to help?
7. I will never ever, ever, ever smoke – it’s filthy and I’ll die.
a. What’s that, a bong? For hash? Ok I’ll try it (my rebellious stage).
b. I prefer joints (too addicted to nicotine).
c. I will now never ever smoke again (fortunately haven’t done so for years).
8. I’m never drinking again.
a. Oh look, Cava!
9. Mum, I will not set foot in that shop – it’s so cheap and embarrassing!
a. Husband, can we stop off in Harrogate? People have money there and I think they’ll have good charity shops.
10. Weekends are for living. Weekends are for partying. I live for the weekend!
a. I had a great weekend thanks. Had some lovely country walks and stayed in watching movies. So relaxing 🙂
11. When I’m older I’ll have 3 children.
a. Not ready for children!
b. Ah, I love my baby. I want more!
c. No more babies for me.
12. Those parents who buy so many toys for children are just spoiling them (shudder). I will buy minimal wooden toys, books and they can play outside and use their imagination!
a. Oh look, he’d love this. Yes we have room for more toys!
b. Oh, he’s getting big. I know – I’ll childmind and then I can fill a whole room with toys – yippee!
13. Electronic devices are the work of the devil. Children should not play them as it’ll fry their brain.
a. You’re bored? Play Minecraft again. It’s like educational Lego!
14. I never want to be that couple in the restaurant who don’t talk (looks over pitying them).
a. Ah this is nice. Oh look at this email from …. (as we both stare at our phones). We don’t do it often though!
15. I can’t speak in meetings. I’ve no confidence. I cannot present to a crowd.
a. You are all welcome to come along to my presentation on….
b. I’ve lost my confidence. I can’t speak in front of a crowd
16. People who talk about their children all the time are mindnumbingly boring.
a. Yes, and then he sang Ally Bally. Look I recorded it! Yes, he only pood 2 times yesterday!
b. When people talk about their babies it is quite boring – but I understand.
17. Aurgh there’s a screaming baby! Let’s not sit near them.
a. There’s a screaming baby. Poor souls. I wonder if I could just go over and help mum with …
18. This semester I’m going to be so organised and study and do my work in plenty of time.
a. Holy crap, it’s due in tomorrow. I’ll have to do an all-nighter!
b. This time around I’m going to be so organised and study and do my work in plenty of time.
c. Holy crap, it’s due in tomorrow. I’ll have to do an all-nighter!
19. I wish people would like me for my mind and not be so shallow.
a. I wish people would look at me like they used to and not just be interested in my mind (ok, I’m married but a little flirtation is ok. I’m human).
20. I hate bags. Friend, can you carry my purse for me please?
a. Oh look another nice bag!
b. What do you mean I have enough? This one is a thing of beauty and I need it.
21. Tonight I’m going to bed at 10.30pm and will get a good nights sleep. I’m changing my ways!
a. (At 12.30am) Wow Ann Atkin from England has a lot of gnomes and pixies – 2,042 to be exact!
22. I hate going out to work in an office. Got to put make-up and wear heels and stuff.
a. Ah, I can wear running trousers and hoodies – how refreshing!
b. Oh, how I’d love to get dressed up with make-up and heels on a school day!
23. I will never stay in a caravan. If I do then I‘m probably dead inside. It’s hotels all the way for me!
a. Hotels are no fun with a child. I have to watch the telly with subtitles and we can’t speak to each other.
b. I know, let’s stay in a caravan. It’ll be perfect!
24. I am going to be a writer when I grow up. Maybe a journalist! I’ll be famous!
a. I don’t know how most journalists sleep at night. I can’t write. I’m too working class.
b. I write every day! I don’t want to be famous.
25. I need my friends. I need my boyfriend (now husband). I love company all of the time.
a. I need some time to myself. I like my own company.
I have written 2 lists previously:
50 Things I Wish I’d Known Before Being a Mum (But It’s Maybe Best I Didn’t)
20 Free (Or Cheap) Outdoor Things To Do With The Kids This Summer