The Grafter

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None of Your Business

When you’ve had enough of people asking about your family planning.

 

Warning: There may be emotional triggers, related to fertility and loss

Well Meaning Questions

You don’t have a baby!

How can that be?

Surely you want one,

you’re a woman, you see.

 

You can give birth

and therefore you should.

You’ll feel incomplete,

without motherhood.

 

What’s that you say?

There’s reasons you can’t?

I was only asking –

there’s no need to rant!

 

Response

 You seem perplexed

at my reluctance to chat,

about personal issues,

fertility and that.

 

Because I’m a woman,

my fate is decided.

I must be a mother

If not, I’m misguided.

 

You people don’t think,

of the reasons behind

the absence of children;

but bear this in mind:

 

Some woman don’t want

a child in the nest.

They’re happy without one

and their decision is best.

Others have tried

again and again.

But a baby ain’t coming –

they’re feeling the strain.

Some have babies

who never were born.

Their heartache is deep

and they’re trying to mourn.

 

It’s not only the childless

constantly bombarded

with well-meaning comments;

no wonder we’re guarded:

 

“He’ll be spoilt and lonely,

If he’s not a big brother.

It’s not fair on him,

If you don’t have another.”

 

“You’ve got 3 the same gender,

that’s such a shame!

You’ll be hoping the next one

isn’t the same.”

 

“4 children you have!

They’re a handful  I see.

It’s clearly obvious

you never watched much tv!

 

So forgive us all

if we’re not always forthcoming.

There are many prejudices

we’re still overcoming.

This is a poem I wrote  a few months ago, but thought it was worth a re-post on Mother’s Day. I’m thinking of a special friend who has yet again been for a scan and found there was no heartbeat or growth from her baby. She is desperate to be a mother but it’s been a long and difficult struggle so far.

So many people are missing their mothers, or miss being a mother to someone and today we should give a thought to those people as well as the happy mums out there.

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