Faded Lights

This place

was full

of light.

Sparks buzzed

and bounced

day an’ night.

 

Vivid

views to

ponder.

Revolving

doors to

new wonder.

 

Now the

lights are

fading.

Power

stutters.

Invading.

 

Thick

foggy

outlook.

Trapped

inside

a closed Book.

 

Warning: Describes Brain Cancer Symptoms in Final Weeks

This poem is a representation of how brain cancer seems to be trapping my mother-in-law inside and closing down physical and mental functions. She is depreciating rapidly, although we can see (at the moment) she’s still able to understand us. Here is how quickly she’s deteriorating:

  • Three weeks ago I went into the city with my mother-in-law. We got her a wheeled zimmer/walker to help her declining mobility and she was using it so fast that I couldn’t keep up with her. She was shopping frantically, giving us her usual demands and telling jokes. Just being her normal self. A week later we received the news that she had 3-6 weeks to live with the high grade cancer in the lining of her brain.
  • Last Sunday I visited her in the hospital. She was desperate to go out for lunch and because her mobility had declined further, we put her in the wheelchair to be on the safe side. She ate a huge plate of pie alone. I noticed she was more demanding than usual, but her conversational skills were limited and she was muddled/confused and said some ‘off the wall’ things. She seemed more child-like but still herself. My son didn’t notice much of a difference.
  • Now this Saturday six days after our previous visit, she has lost almost all ability to speak. She had no interest in leaving the hospital (very unusual) and spent her time drifting in and out of sleep. She struggles getting up off her seat with help and doesn’t know how to walk. My husband spoon fed her.

She has good pain relief and seems relaxed now and we take some comfort from that.  For more information on Brain Tumours, I am finding this website very useful and so far she’s sadly following the pattern: bt buddies

11 thoughts on “Faded Lights

  1. What a beautiful poem! It reminds me of my best friends passing two years ago. My friend was diagnosed with leukemia on the day when her baby boy was born. We spent the last two weeks with her and her family. I still remember going with her to her last restaurant visit and watching the lights of the sunset together. One week later her light was gone…so quickly at the end. A strong reminder to us that nothing is forever and life could change at the blink of the eye. Wishing you and your family a lot of strength for the coming weeks!

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    • Oh my, that’s heart-breaking that she found out she had leukaemia the day her baby was born. It sounds like she was surrounded by love and I hope this is a comfort to you and her family. You are right, it can all change in the blink of an eye. Thanks for your kind words.

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  2. It is so hard to watch the final journey of a loved ones life. I remember my father. You want it to be over for them and although you know it is coming it is still a shock when it happens. My mum, sister and me just sat with him until the end and we are all so happy that we were able to. Sending you all love ❤️

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  3. This is a very stark and emotive piece. You’ve captured the emotions well. It’s difficult watching somebody you love waste away — you feel so powerless. We’re going through something similar with my mother — but to a lesser extent than this. Will keep you all in my thoughts.

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  4. Good job on the poem… reminds me of my mother-in-law with Alzheimer’s too. So sorry your family is dealing with this. It is good though she seems to be in very little pain. Sending prayers… (((HUGS)))

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  5. Oh gosh… She’s really declining fast. It doesn’t sound like it will be very long now. I’m going to take a look at that site. It’s the brain tumor that is affecting my b-i-l now. Scans show there is no other cancer in his body. Thanks for posting that.

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      • Cindy keeps asking questions about what I think THIS means, or THAT. I appreciated reading about the way tumors generally or often act. Maybe someday I’ll be able to put some of that info to good use. His big thing right now is he keeps hollering “Help! Help!” all the time but isn’t able to say what he needs. About all she can do is sedate him.

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