(Un)helpful Advice

via Daily Prompt: Criticize

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I have friends with children who often come across overly-critical relatives/friends/random folk in shops,  who believe their advice is best.  I’m sure they often mean well, but many friends have felt like failures because they feel they aren’t doing the parenting thing right.  Here is a poem to reflect this scenario:

 

No bottles love, the breast is best!

When baby sleeps, you must have rest.

He’s only small, don’t let him cry.

You must ensure that nappy’s dry.

No wipes on him, his skin in new.

You can’t do that, I thought you knew.

Not walking yet, I’d check that out.

Oh naughty boy, he must not shout!

You need to clean, house is a mess

You must calm down, he’ll sense your stress

He bit again, need that to stop.

Look there he goes, another strop!

When back to work, you must be bored?

You’ve fancy stuff you can’t afford.

Her down the road, she’s never home.

Her mother’s got those kids alone.

You’re such hard work, what’s wrong with you?

I’m not allowed to say what’s true!

Not critical, just good advice!

You’ve hurt me now, you’re never nice!

 

I’m fortunate that I have an amazing mother who doesn’t get offended if I take or leave her advice. I often leave it 🙂

 

 

17 thoughts on “(Un)helpful Advice

  1. I have a friend (with no kids and not married) who is very critical and opinionated on everything from breastfeeding to circumcision. I’m sure she means well when she gives advice on the subject of parenting. But for me, if you haven’t lived through an experience yet, please don’t tell me how to do. Thankfully, my youngest children are 11 so I don’t really find myself on the receiving end of her advice so much.

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    • Oh dear, the armchair expert 🙂 I was an expert before I ever had any dealings with children. I’d shout at the tv when Supernanny was on, giving my opinion. My husband would say “all children are a blank sheet and start off the same. It’s that easy.” Oh, how we laugh at our ignorance now! Thanks for reading and commenting.

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  2. I can really relate to that poem. My mother, unfortunately, is really persistent with her advice. When my son broke his arm, she really guilt-tripped me when I decided to follow my own intuition rather than her advice. I had nightmares at night about his broken arm. In the end, he was fine, had I followed her advice I would have spent more money and more time on something unnecessary. I realize she was very worried because she loves her grand-son, but she (and others like her) need to learn how to trust others.

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    • It’s so difficult when they do mean well, but sometimes you have to trust your own intuition and go with what you feel is the right thing. My mother wanted me to go to the doctor about my son because he wasn’t walking at 16 months. I told her I wasn’t and he’d be fine and he was. I’m glad your boy is ok. Thanks for reading and commenting 🙂

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  3. I can’t help but smile when I read this. I was once a young mother who had a mother who mothered me. Now, I’m a Grandmother and I have no desire to give advice on her parenting. I remember what it felt like and I would never want to my daughter or any mother to feel inadequate with motherhood.
    Great post! Oh how I remember the days of a messy house. LOL

    Liked by 1 person

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