Today I have a another special guest blogger here for a visit, it’s Jasminder, the Original Phoenix from Confessions of a Reborn Girl. Jasminder often writes about Psychology and also about crafts; music; poetry; general musings – in fact she is a good versatile all-round blogger! I’ve been following Jasminder for a while and much of what she writes resonates with me. This is the low-down on how she manages to maintain inner peace:
I’m no Buddha or self-help guru, but I’m at peace with myself, so that’s my credibility. How did I get here? Time, effort, and having the following habits:
Listening to my inner voice
You want to know how to ignite a war within yourself? Start ignoring this thing. You want to make peace after the arrows rain down? Start listening to it. It’s as simple as that. Now, getting to a place where you can trust that you’re hearing your true self is a bit messy. First, you have to isolate your voice from other people’s. Then, you have to be 1000% sure that you have your best interests in mind. You can’t be defeatist, self-injurious, or any of that. You have to be your own best friend. I really hope you already are, by the way, because you’re the single person that you will spend 100% of your life with. Hopefully, you’re nice and your head is a safe place to play.
But don’t be ashamed if that isn’t the case. It wasn’t always the case for me, I used to be the exact opposite. Eventually, I got tired of always feeling like I had to run away from myself, so I changed myself from the ground up. I replaced negativity with positivity and that’s what I chose to live for.
Stressing, thinking, and obsessing less
The human brain is an amazing organ. It’s capable of many complex things…which can also be one of it’s greatest downfalls. We’re just so darn good at thinking that we can think ourselves into oblivion. We examine all of the possible outcomes of a situation and worry endlessly about a non-ideal result. It’s hard to drop it and just let it happen, but sometimes that’s all you can do. Once you allow yourself to do that, things will settle inside you.
When I took the SAT and it was nearing time for my results to come in, I was beyond stressed out. I got to the point that I was so stressed that I was calm (you never want to be here by the way. It means that you’re so distressed that you’ve lost the ability to express your woes.) Eventually, I told myself, “You know what? Obsessing over this number isn’t going to make it any bigger or smaller. What’s done is done. I’ll know when I know. In the meantime, try listening to the History lecture, I’m pretty sure you just missed 20 minutes of it.”
This one may sound a bit obvious, I know, but it’s key. You can’t be at peace with a person you dislike or aren’t comfortable around. You have to learn to accept your flaws and quirks because nobody else can do that for you. Only you can create that feeling inside of yourself.
One of the ways I got to this stage was by not seeing myself as something ugly or evil. Look, your brain can’t tell the difference between what’s in your head and what’s in the real world. That’s why it’s sometimes difficult to tell if you dreamt something or if it actually happened. Visualize yourself as something intrinsically good, something valuable, something worthy of your respect and understanding. Because you’re all of those things. You just have to realize that.
Also…don’t mind the folks who don’t understand you or try to bring you down. Think of it this way: they see a very small surface level portion of what you choose to show them. They don’t know your story, they don’t know what you feel inside, so their opinion is wrong by default. Also, their opinion is irrelevant.
If there’s one thing in common between all of the times I’ve come home, it’s that people’s opinions and thoughts of me don’t tag along. I look in the bathroom mirror and the only sound is my constant inner dialogue. There are no bullies hanging out in my shower — or else I’d get a restraining order on them. It’s just me: my thoughts, my feelings, my voice.
Pursuing meditation, green tea, and hobbies
Have some way to unwind and stick to it! There’s no shame in taking time off for yourself even though it may feel like it in our hyper-active society. We’re all only human; we have needs and we get tired of the daily grind. Find something that blows that dust straight off your shoulders and make you feel anew.
Meditation works really well for me because it helps me focus on one thing at a time instead of 5-7. It reminds me of what’s important and it puts me in touch with my inner voice. Did I mention that it’s also absurdly soothing and fulfilling?
Green tea, aside from its various health benefits, is like liquid spirituality for me. Sipping a nice steaming cup of it is a meditational experience for me because I can just focus on the tea and nothing else. Preparing it’s also like that because I can just focus on getting the right amount of honey and boiling it for the right amount of time. (OK, I’m not a Buddhist monk, but I’d like to point out that Buddhist monks also feel like they’re meditating when they make/drink tea. Just saying.)
I know this probably sounds kooky to you but it’s because of the meaning I’ve assigned to green tea. In my mind, I see it as something very simple, very pure, and very peaceful by nature. That’s why it’s so important to know yourself, guys, because you can use your brain to your advantage. Instead of spending thousands of dollars on yoga classes and massages, I associate green tea with those feelings of tranquillity. It’s cheaper and available in the comfort of my own home. 🙂
I hope you were able to learn something from this! I’d also like to thank amileinmyshoes for giving me this wonderful opportunity to guest post, I’m truly honored to be writing for you.
Thank you for guest blogging Confessions of a Reborn Girl and apologies for your lovely numbered list formatting going awry – I still have problems with WordPress formatting!