Why I Write

I’m participating in another Blogging University course. This time it’s a 20 day course and the purpose of it is to offer me some inspiration. This first day I have to write an unedited, off the cuff blog on why I write. So here goes:

I write because I can. I switch off from the world and drift away into a bubble of words, language, thoughts and rhyme. Blanking out external influences, I can focus on nothing but the writing. The words take over and I drift off into my writing cloud.  The only thing that comes close would maybe be sex.  Well, perhaps first moments with someone when it’s fresh and your thinking is more primal and passion takes over.  But then you have to think of the other person. But with writing it’s just for me.  It’s selfish and indulgent and I can please myself or wallow in my misery for a while.   I can do what I like without a thought for others.  Amuse myself with a silly poem, put the world to rights, imagine myself in another place or time or imagine others in different scenes. I can do anything without being questioned.  I’d never set out to hurt anyone, but this is why I remain anonymous when writing. I’m not looking to achieve recognition.

I visit past experiences retrospectively analysing and making sense of what happened. There are always better conversations and actions in hindsight aren’t there? Alternatively, I can question what lies ahead.  Scenarios can be pulled apart in my head and put together again in a way that might be more interesting. Any feedback I get is lovely; the dialogue can often be more interesting than what I get from some in my ‘real’ life.

I’m writing a novel. It’s a child’s book for my son. I remember struggling to find a book on death when he was 4 and finally finding one about a badger.  The simplistic story helped him at the time.  The story I’m writing is about the death of a grandparent and aimed at his age now.  He’s almost 8 and there’s a chance I’ll need to get in finished in the next few months.  A previous poem I wrote ‘don’t light a candle’ gives you an idea of the sentiment behind the book.  There’s a kind, irritating angel who only speaks in rhyme.  I’m hoping it’ll be a gentle but truthful book. I need to finish it so that I can know I’m able do it.  I’ll then decide if it’s good enough for him to read.

 When writing, I can escape reality and disappear for a while. Life can sometimes be hard work – perhaps it’s my therapy?  Writing a blog was intimidating at first, I was a fish out of water.   Every time I write and post to the web it’s a bit like jumping off a cliff. I’m giving people a bit of myself.  Sometimes I’m vulnerable and show my weak or dark side.  Other times I’m full of bravado and cocky. Although I don’t write under my name, I’m more ‘me’ when I write. There’s no putting on a façade to the outside world. I don’t need to do that.

I’ve only been writing since August so it’s early days. Hopefully I’m developing as a writer. I read somewhere that writing is like exercising a muscle and the more you do, the more natural it becomes. Time will tell.

That’s why I write.

 This is unedited. I read it back and there are a lot of ‘I’s’ in it. I want to edit but I’m not meant to – so here it is.

26 thoughts on “Why I Write

  1. It is perfect as is, all your reasons why you write, who you really are and the frank picture of it all. You go girl. Great to know you. A name does not make a person so I can go without it, knowing you are who you are in your writing is more than enough.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Great post. It can be very nerve-wracking to let go and just write, sometimes it feels like it’s not what we’re supposed to do. And it takes more guts to post the outcome. Writing automatically is a great way to silence the editor and reach a raw level of creativity beneath thinking and can often be full of surprises, so I hope you managed to pleasantly surprise yourself too. Good luck with the rest of the blogging course and with the story — I love the idea of a kind, irritating angel who speaks in rhymes!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Love your writing and your reasoning lines up a lot with mine! 🙂 It’s truly a wonderful feeling to get lost in a poem or story that YOU are writing!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Haha good point about editing! I suppose it’s more to do with spelling and punctuation. I like it to read well 🙂 I remember reading your blog about your journals and what you get out of writing those too. I do think it’s a good thing for mental health and putting your situation into perspective.

      Like

  4. I am so inspired by you writing and writing-related activities! I learn so much — about myself as a writer, writing related opportunities, etc… It is so nice to read your observations and thoughts behind your writing endeavors. Keep at it! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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